into the ocean, shadow
by Kit Brightside
Summary: what was his last thoughts after helping sonic save the earth? songfic


**I'm just a normal boy that sank when I fell over board.**

Hello, my name is shadow t. robotnick. I'm normal, compared to most of the things they make here on ark, though it hasn't been working for years. The last thing I remember about this place is being sent down to earth in an escape pod. And blood.

**my ship would leave the country, but I'd rather swim ashore.**

My home was meant to help people, yet they made weapons. I wish I remembered sooner, I would rather not have to carry the regret I have for not knowing sooner.

**Without a life vest I'd be stuck again, wish I was much more masculine.**

I wish I had been stronger back then. Maybe I could have saved her, my only friend.

**Then maybe then I could learn to swim like 'fourteen miles away.' **

Maybe we could have gone to earth together. Hid away in some remote town no one knew, and enjoyed life.

**Now floating up and down I spin, colliding into sound, like whales beneath me diving down.**

Something big has happened, and I'm thinking about the past… just like a blue blur, that I have come to think of as a friend.

**I'm sinking to the bottom of my, everything that freaks me out.**

I have more regrets now. I keep losing my memory, it might not be long until I remember to late. They try to help, but they don't know that they can't help. the same way the people on ark didn't know you can't make an 'ultimate life form' without there being problems. Maria was nice, she hid that she knew I would forget little things… why do you think I don't have shoe laces? I never could tie them.

**The lighthouse beam has just run out. I'm cold, as cold, as cold can be… be…**

My last hope as run out, I don't need to live, and it would be best if I didn't live anyway. The only thing I want to know, is why no one ever told me space id cold… so very cold.

**I want to swim away, but don't know how. **

Just as maria would always dream about how the forest was like, I would dream of what it would be like to swim in the ocean. Though, when I asked Gerald, he told me I would drown.

**Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean, let the waves up, take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion… yeah.**

Floating in space is kind of like being in the water, and with that come thoughts of my time in the status tube. Though that was warm, wale this is cold. It's nice, really, and at lest I'm not in an endless sleep where is I do have night mares I couldn't wake up from.

**Let the rain of what I feel right now… come down. Let the rain come down. **

I feel clam, ready to die if need be. I just wish I could feel the rain again, and say goodbye to what few friends I have. But knowing there safe, is just as good as the rain or saying goodbye.

**Where is the coastguard, I keep looking each direction, for a spotlight, give me something.**

I had looking around at first when I had woken up, wounded and confused. I soon found that they had left, thinking me dead just as they had before. At first I had hoped for anyone to save me, even the doctor of black doom. But soon I got rid of that thought, they would be better off if I was dead.

**I need something for protection maybe flotsam junk will do just fine.**

Though, I still think that I need help, I don't want them to. Besides, every living thing that can think for itself wants help when it thinks it's going to die. I wonder if they even looked for me? They must have been to busy with that new girl.

**The jetsam sunk I'm left behind. I'm trending for my life, believe me. **

There weren't any ships left, so now I'm just floating out in space unprotected. It's a gamble for my life I hope I don't survive. If I lose my memory again, I'm sure that I'll kill them all.

**How can I keep up this breathing? Not knowing how to think a scream aloud, begin to sink.**

My wounds are getting worse, there bleeding out. making my vision blur, and the air seems thick and hard to breath. I'm in a losing battle right now.

**My legs and arms are broken down, with envy for the solid ground. **

What kept me going when I had lost my memory, was the only memory I had. Envy. Envy for that blue hedgehog who got all the glory, for what I couldn't remember at the time, but it kept me going. Another pang of guilt for my soul… that is, if I have one.

**I'm reaching for the life within me. How can one man stop his ending**

For a time out here, I tried to live. I was sure they would come looking for me and then I would be able to live that life I had always talked about with maria. But at this point it's hopeless, even if they found me. I'm just to far gone.

**I thought just your face, relaxed, and floated into space. **

Only one thing kept me sane though all of this, you maria. I'm not sure if you know how close to death I am, but if you do, are you waiting for me with open arms? Or are you looking at me with shame for what I have done? even if you hate me, the thought of seeing you again makes me happy.

**I want to swim away, but don't know how. Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. **

It feels like I'm in water, my hearing isn't at it's best, my eyes are watering… or I'm crying, and my sense of up and down isn't working. But that's nothing compared to the fact that I'm dying alone. Is how you felt after you sent me away? More guilt hits me hard. I know I did the right thing, that I don't regret, it's just how long it took me to do it.

**Let the waves up, take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion… yeah.**

I hope my death isn't to painful, but it still happens. My thoughts are getting muddled as well, I can't even feel my burnt skin or broken bones any more.

**Let the rain of what I feel right now… come down. Let the rain come down.**

And yet, I still feel content. I know I'm dying, but I'll see maria soon. She'll love to hear about earth. About the forest, the city, the river, the food, the people, and the rain. She'll love it all.

**Now waking to the sun, I calculate what I had done.**

I remember the first time I 'died'. When I had woken up, I was shocked and sad that I couldn't see maria. I had thought over everything that happened, when I remembered them. I still have brief relapses, where I forget who people are or where I am. Though I have gotten good at hiding them, I almost killed rouge when she woke me up one day.

**Like jumping from the bow, yeah, just to prove that I knew how, yeah.**

I think the first time I helped sonic, I didn't know I could go super. When it happened, it was like showing off, a little. I don't under stand why, but I had always wanted prove I was better then him. I mean people worked day in and day out to make me as good as I was, and he was like that because it was who he was! But in the end I still couldn't let him show it, but for a different reason. I knew only one of us could get back, and some one as kind as him shouldn't be the one to go. The same way it should have been me that got shot that day…

**It's midnight's late reminder of the loss of her, the one I love.**

From here I can see the stars. The same ones I could see from ark the day maria died. My only family I knew. The sight reminds me of everything I've done wrong, ever time I've come so close to going past the point of forgiveness. I could have cried, had I not run out of tears long ago.

**My will to quickly end it all, set front row in my need to fall.**

I know that it has to end soon, I'm forgetting bits and pieces and if I forget that I have to die… then my friends will be the ones paying.

**Into the ocean, end it all. Into the ocean, end it all. Into the ocean, end it all.**

**Into the ocean… end it all.**

I wonder why sonic disliked the water so much, I would give anything to just play at the beach with maria, not a care in the world. And it would be a much better way to die, then bleeding out. at lest then you weren't awake as long, left to think over how badly you screwed up your life.

**into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all.**

I'm getting spots in my vision, and blackness at the edge. Soon, maria, soon. We'll be together, happy and then, we can wait for my other friends so that you can meet them too. And we can all play at the beach, together.

**I want to swim away, but don't know how. **

I wish that I could move, but I've lost so much blood that I can't feel anything but the cold.

**Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up, take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion… yeah.**

I don't understand why I ended up like this, that attack should have been enough to kill me… then again, just because I took most of the blow, doesn't meant that the faker didn't get hurt too. Must have been just enough to keep me from dying… he didn't have to be so kind. I cruel kindness at that.

**Let the rain of what I feel right now… come down. Let the rain come down.**

Though, I still have to thank him. He helped me when every one else just saw a killer, a lot like maria did, when we met. I can't help but feel happy, even as I'm coughing up my own blood.

**Into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into space… **

I relax a little as I hear your voice echo in my head, maria. I can't understand what your saying, but you look so happy.

**into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) **

even if they can't hear me, I have to say goodbye to everyone I left behind. First, rouge. Even when I was on the wrong side, you where there for me, helping me by making sure I wasn't pushed past the point of no return. The there's omega, as good a friend you where, you died before me, so anything I have to say I can tell you when I die. Then sonic, you where proof that with the help of friends and enough will power you can do anything. You also reached out your hand to me when I needed help, we raced and once we fought, but you were a good friend.

**into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) into the ocean (goodbye.) end it all (goodbye.) I thought of just your face…**

thinking about maria, I smiled. And soon every thing went black, my lungs stopped, as did my heart, and I knew then that maria was waiting, but soon we would meet again…


End file.
